August 05, 2014

Reader’s Email: The Struggle is Real…

I received this email from a Barbadian reader who wanted to share her experience with you guys.

Melanie says:
I wanted to share this story with you, and I hope you can share it on your blog. Because it saddened me and also inspired me and gave me more purpose for my HHJ.

I went shopping today with two of my girlfriends. I ended up in Diamond Girl store and bought a few minor things I realized I needed. As I was purchasing some applicator brushes for my oils and conditioner, one of them asked "Why you buying brushes? You relaxing your hair yourself?" I replied  "No. These for my oils." She asked why. I said "I'm trying to grow my hair long and healthy." She replies "But why? There isn’t really nothing you can do about that"
For a split second I was gonna go into lecture mode and show her all the blogs I check for healthy hair habits. But I stopped myself and said, I'll show her that we (black women) DO have control of our hair and its growth and ability to retain length. I'll show her!!

I read on another blog/hair site that the myth is killing us in the long hair battle! We have been somehow led to believe that black hair can’t grow long unless your gene's are mixed with another ethnicity that lends to more manageable and 'grow-able' hair.

Her statement made me more adamant to pursue this hair journey diligently to show her and other women in Barbados that we, Black women with 'hard hair', can grow long healthy hair past our shoulders.

Sorry to rant but I had to share…

It warms my heart to receive such an email and I’m sorry I took so long to share this with you guys.  The struggle is real out there but the proof is in our daily &weekly hard work. Don’t be discouraged because you’re not seeing results as fast as you would like. Remember every head is different and even though it may look like you have the same hair type/texture and you use the same products as others it doesn’t mean you will yield the same results.  Patience is key.
I’ll discuss hair myths in another post, so stay tuned. Thank you for sharing your experience with us Melanie.

Be Inspired…


  1. Thanks for sharing. Although I have hair knowledge, I don't waste time on those who display lack of knowledge unless they really have a desire to know better, do better and be better. Otherwise, it's a waste of my time and theirs to try to set them straight.

  2. The very best thing that you can do is live---and love your hair---on purpose to show others that there are other possibilities out there! I'm sure that this person believes what they are saying because it's the only thing that they've seen. So when they do see you swinging your hair around---they'll end up in the beauty supply store buying brushes for their oils too!

    Thanks for sharing this Tomi!

    KLP | SavingOurStrands

  3. I think some of those Myths are more frequent in US. I ve never heard that myth before i started to read hairblogs. Here people always think that people with black hair can grow it very long. Celebrities like Diana Ross and Sade has built on that idea. We also see africans with long braids and fantastic hair styles.

    One of the reason why black people dont have fsith in black hair, IMO, is because they have a long history with wigs. There has been popular with extentions here in Europe as well the past few years, but to see a Woman here wearing a wig, is very very unusual. No matter how long or short it is. It is just the black people here wearing wigs. I know that a lot of people wont agree but to me, wearing a wig (especially of a totally different hair texture than your own) is to say, My own hair isnt good enough. That to me is underbuilding the myth that black hair isnt good enough.

  4. Great post Tomie, it was nice to read Melanie's story.
    I'm not sure where these beliefs come from but I'm frequently asked whether I'm 'mixed' and when I state that I am that fact is often cited as the reason for my long hair which I don't believe at all.
    To me it seems like there's a lot of black women who don't seek healthy haircare advice or ignore it (at least in the UK) and when they can't work out why their hair is damaged they wrongly assume it's genetic x

  5. I actually used to think that you couldn't grow black hair too but I have been super impressed at what I have seen all over the blog world and you tube. I am now a believer and I can't wait for my hair to reach waist length so that I can whip it back and forth :)

  6. Great story, Tomes! She had a great attitude about deciding to show her friend with her own results. I often keep myself from going on hair rants to people who believe all the black hair myths. I agree that it's so much more powerful for them to see the results that we healthy hair ladies achieve and ask questions for themselves.

  7. The struggle is real!!! I get it all the time from my friends and extended family members, they always go on about how the pictures I saw them are clearly weaves and its all down to genes, am really trying to prove them all wrong, and along the way I get other friends who join and believe. I agree with Mel's statement the proof is indeed with the result we will and can show!

  8. I love stories like this one. They give me hope.

  9. That is a great story! When I was relaxed my hair grew and grew because I had a strict care plan for it. It really is all about how you take care of your hair. Hair responds to good care.

  10. this happens in Zimbabwe and South Africa as weel. everyone always saying that if your hair is long its mixed somewhere -somehow. and I think the only way to win people over is when I do this myself.
    I want to get to MBL and show that this hard Bantu hair listens to instructions and GROWS


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